Neurodivergence and Trauma: Supporting Executive Functioning in Children and Young People
In our fifth Neurodivergence and Trauma article, Sarah explains the concept of Executive Function and how we can help children who struggle with these skills.
Executive functions are the mental skills that help us plan, organise, focus, regulate emotions, and complete everyday tasks. These skills develop early in childhood and continue to strengthen into young adulthood.
For many of the children in our fostering community, particularly those who have experienced developmental trauma or who are neurodivergent, these skills can be harder to access, especially during moments of stress or change.
Why trauma and neurodiversity matter
Children who have experienced early adversity often develop survival-based responses, which can interfere with planning, emotional regulation, and flexible thinking. Trauma can affect the neural pathways that support executive functioning, which makes these tasks genuinely harder.
Executive functioning differences are also common in neurodivergent young people, including those with autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. These children may struggle with organisation, focus, working memory or impulse control, even when they are trying their very best.
Many fostered children sit within one or both of these groups, so understanding these difficulties is essential for offering compassionate and effective care.
What executive functioning difficulties can look like
Children and young people may struggle with:
- paying attention
- managing emotions
- controlling impulses
- remembering instructions
- shifting between activities
- getting started on tasks
- managing time
- staying organised
- keeping track of belongings
- finishing tasks
- waiting for their turn
At home, you might notice your child:
- is easily distracted
- becomes overwhelmed by changes in routine
- fixates on minor details
- appears messy or disorganised
- loses track of time
- behaves impulsively
- becomes very upset over minor issues
- finds it hard to plan or organise time with friends
At school, these difficulties may be mistaken for laziness or a lack of motivation. In reality, the child may be working extremely hard but struggling internally.
How carers can help
The following strategies, adapted from Parent Talk at Action for Children, can help foster carers feel more confident and capable in supporting children to gradually and gently build executive functioning skills.
Supporting attention and staying on track
– Choose times of day when your child is most focused.
– Reduce environmental distractions.
– Check in regularly, calmly and briefly.
Encouraging thinking before acting
– Prompt them to pause before starting an activity.
– Talk through possible options and outcomes.
– Model slow, thoughtful decision-making.
Helping them start tasks
– Break tasks down into small steps.
– Set simple, achievable goals.
– Support them to ask themselves:
– What am I doing?
– Why does it matter?
– What is my first step?
Building planning skills
– Use checklists, visual prompts and routines.
– Tick off completed steps to build confidence.
– Create simple timelines for longer tasks.
Encouraging flexibility and problem-solving
– Prepare them for potential changes.
– Give warnings before transitions.
– Talk through what worked and what did not.
– Use social stories to explore different outcomes.
– Offer two predictable choices to reduce overwhelm.
Working together
If your child is struggling at school, it can help to speak with their teacher or SENCo about tailored support. Your GP, or your health visitor if your child is under five, may also explore whether assessment for autism, ADHD or other needs would be appropriate. Please speak with your link worker, as we are developing services and support specifically for neurodivergent children. We should also be able to help spot the signs of neurodiversity, develop strategies that might help, and navigate the referral process if your child needs an assessment.
Final thoughts
For children who have experienced developmental trauma or who are neurodivergent, difficulties with executive functioning are not signs of defiance. They are often indicators of stress, overwhelm, or difficulty coping. When we understand this, we can respond with patience, compassion and practical strategies that truly help children feel safe, supported and capable.
Information in this article is adapted from Parent Talk at Action for Children, a free online advice service supporting families across the UK. https://parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/
Other articles in our neurodivergence series:
